Showing posts with label food porn. Show all posts
Showing posts with label food porn. Show all posts

Thursday, May 31, 2012

No, wait, THIS is the Most Horrific Thing I've Read This Week

From the Mail Online:

A man who had his genitals removed seasoned them before cooking them for five paying dinner party guests, it has been claimed. 


Mao Sugiyama, 22, who is asexual, had voluntarily undergone surgery to have them removed. 


But the illustrator took his frozen penis and scrotum home from hospital and organised a grim party. 


He charged guests around £160 per person to eat his severed genitalia in Tokyo, Japan. 


They were garnished with mushrooms and parsley. 


Before tucking into dinner, guests sat down to listen to a piano recital and take part in a panel discussion, CalorieLab.com reported. 


Mao, who goes by the nickname HC, had initially considered eating his own penis – but decided to serve them up instead. 


He cooked the genitalia himself as he was supervised by a chef. 


In a Tweet, he offered to cook his penis for a guest for £800. 


However, he ultimately decided to split the ‘meal’ between six guests. 


He wrote on Twitter: ‘I am offering my male genitals (full penis, testes, scrotum) as a meal for 100,000 yen (£800). I’m Japanese. 


‘The organs were surgically removed at age 22. I was tested to be free of venereal diseases. The organs were of normal function. I was not receiving female hormone treatment. 


‘First interested buyer will get them, or I will also consider selling to a group. Will prepare and cook as the buyer requests, at his chosen location. If you have questions, please contact me by DM or e-mail.’ 


In total around 70 people attended the event in the Suginami ward of Tokyo. While five people tucked into Mao Sugiyama’s genitalia, the rest of them ate beef or crocodile. 


The people who ate his genitalia were a 30-year-old couple, a 22-year-old women, a 32-year-old man and Shigenobu Matsuzawa, 29, an event planner. 


He Tweeted before the event: ‘It’s a once in a lifetime chance, so I decided on the spur of the moment to do it.’ 


He posted pictures of the event on his blog, but later removed them and said his decision to take them down was due to ‘privacy considerations’. 


Sugiyama made guests sign a waiver so he was not responsible if they became ill after eating his genitalia. They were removed in early April shortly after his 22nd birthday. 


The dinner party organiser joked before the event that he would be posting his recipe online. 


Guests said that the genitalia were very rubbery and tasted of very little, CalorieLab.com reported. 


Suginami Police were contacted but did not launch an investigation because they said nothing had been done which was against the law. 


Sugiyama, who is an illustrator, has also had his nipples removed. 


As an asexual, his genitalia will not be replaced with artificial female ones.

Ew.



Saturday, February 18, 2012

What the WTF?!?: Heart Attack Grill is not the enemy

A man suffered a heart attack at the Heart Attack Grill this week. Oh, you've never heard of the Heart Attack Grill? Well, the Heart Attack Grill is an American burger joint that proudly serves the most unhealthy food imaginable (the above menu is the ACTUAL, FOR REAL Heart Attack Grill menu) via waitress dressed as sexy nurses:
It's kind of like a Hooters for that portion of the fetish crowd who prefers burgers to chicken wings. Keep in mind, none of the waitress are actual nurses, so, if you do ever find yourself in a Heart Attack Grill having chest pains and shortness of breath, the big-breasted, booty short-clad hottie who just dropped a large order of lard-fried Flatliner Fries on your grease-splattered table cannot help you. You're boned, basically.

But guess what, my sweaty chum? You've boned yourself. That's right. The Heart Attack Grill isn't responsible for the lifetime of poor choices you've made, up to and including the decision to enjoy a quick bite to eat at the Heart Attack Grill. I assume thousands of people have dined at the Heart Attack Grill and suffered nothing more than momentary regret. Then again, people have, in fact, given their life for the Heart Attack Grill's cause. Blair River, a 575 pound fan and spokesperson, died in 2011, no doubt a result of his frequent trips to the Grill. But still, is this Grill's fault? I submit that it is not.

It's River's fault. Nobody forced him to weigh 575 pounds. I know some people have struggles maintaining a healthy weight--hell, I'm one of them--but River knew what he was doing. He was 575 pounds and he ate regularly at the Heart Attack Grill. He knew what could happen. IT'S RIGHT ON THE SIGN, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!! And this guy in the Las Vegas location this week. There's no way this guy was the picture of good health. He had a heart attack while chowing down on a Triple Bypass Burger. Who needs all that? No one needs all of that! You waltz into a place and order something called a Triple Bypass Burger, with a side of Flatliner Fries and a pack of filterless cigarettes for dessert, you deserve the resulting heart attack. And you should be required to pay your bill in full. Well, you or your heirs.

We do this shit to ourselves, guys. There wouldn't be a Heart Attack Grill if people didn't want a Heart Attack Grill. We can't control ourselves. People are dying in restaurants from ingesting too much beef and lard, drinking Jolt colas and Butterfat Milkshakes. What the fuck? Why would anyone do this to him/herself? I like unhealthy food as much as the next guy, but I have the sense at least to avoid a joint like the Heart Attack Grill like the plague it most certainly is.

We're our own worst enemies, everybody. Did we learn nothing from that Christian Slater show? I mean, I didn't. I never saw it. It was called My Own Worst Enemy, right? I'm pretty sure it wasn't about shitty eating habits, but the lessons still apply. Or not. Just stop cramming shit into your mouth, OK? Quit spending your money at greasy restaurants that don't give a crap about your health. Eat a salad. It's nice outside, so take a walk with your family. Keep eating burgers and fries, just eat them less often. WTF are we doing to ourselves? Sheesh!

I like those nurses outfits though. You ever thing about changing up the uniforms at Chipotle, Chipotle?


Friday, August 26, 2011

Food Porn Friday: Meatloaf

Food porn doesn't always have to be corndog pizzas and giant ice cream sandwiches. Sometimes it can be a good ol' meatloaf. Like Mom used to make. Or purchase from Boston Market. Don't forget the cornbread muffins like last time, Ma. Geez!




Friday, July 29, 2011

Food Porn Friday: Food Clothes

Meet Twinkie Chan. She makes super cool clothes that look like super cute foods. These are just three examples. To see more visit her Web site: twinkiechan.com. You can also follow her on Twitter (I do!): @twinkiechan


PANCAKE SCARF!!!

CHEESEBURGER MITTS!!!

PIZZA SCARF!!!!!!!

Friday, July 22, 2011

Food Porn Friday: Penuche Fudge

Happy National Penuche Fudge Day, everybody! What is penuche, you say? Well, according to Wikipedia it is "a fudge-like candy made from brown sugar, butter, and milk, using no flavorings except for vanilla." Of course, as we all know, Wikipedia is full of lies and half-truths, so the world may never know what penuche truly is. Alls I know is that this is a picture of penuche and today is the day we celebrate its mysterious existence. Huzzah!

Friday, June 3, 2011

Food Porn Friday: Doughnut Burger w/ French Fries

It's National Doughnut Day! Why not celebrate with one (or two, perhaps?) of these delicious monstrosities?



Friday, May 13, 2011

Food Porn Friday: The Instant Heart Attack Sandwich

What are we looking at here? Well, it is quite simply a mountain of deliciously-salty, thinly-sliced pastrami nestle between two fried potato pancakes. Or, as I like to call it, THE GREATEST SANDWICH TO EVER EXIST ON THE PLANET EARTH!

Sadly, this god among sandwiches is currently only available at the 2nd Avenue Deli in New York. But, hey, I don't know who's reading this post, so here goes nothing: if you are a friend of the blog OR a personal friend of mine who lives in NYC (and don't try to deny our friendship, because I know you totally still love me), how 'bout buying one of these things for me and FedExing it down to Raleigh. Contact me at giantpengy@yahoo.com if this seems plausible in any way. C'mon, let's all contribute to my early demise!

Friday, April 22, 2011

Food Porn Friday: Wawa Italian Shorti w/ tomatoes, onions, sweet peppers, pickles, oil, vinegar, mayo & mustard

This, my friends, is the sandwich they serve in Heaven. Right there at the ol' Pearly Gates. "Welcome to Heaven. Here's your harp and here's your hoagie."


Friday, March 18, 2011

Food Porn Friday: Pizza Songs



This song may very well be about pizza.


The Olsen Twins and their weird friends (I'm looking at you, Little Girl in Purple.) ruin a pizza.

(1:08-1:09: That cannot be that girl's real voice. Good Lord.)



I wonder which "pizza store" is Uncle Moishy's favorite "pizza store?" Also, why is Uncle Moishy so damn clumsy? Get it together, Moishy. Oy yah yah yah yah yah yah yah yah yah yah oy vey, indeed.



Either utterly horrifying or totally cute. I can't decide.



Yes, we saved the best for last.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Food Porn Friday: McWhat-the-Eff?!?

I was made aware of the vastly different menu choices at McDonald's restaurants all around the world this week and I thought it my duty to showcase a few of the more appealing items in our weekly Food Porn Friday feature. So, here now, are the Top 8 International McDonald's Items That I Totally Want to Eat*.


8. The Kiwiburger
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I've only got one problem with this hamburger sandwich: it's got beets! I've made no secret of my contempt for beets on this blog, but I'm willing to try a "fast food" beet for some reason. Maybe they aren't so bad on top of a mass produced hamburger patty. The Kiwiburger was so popular in New Zealand, that when it was removed from the menu--as popular items often are-- the citizenry complained so loudly, the McDonald's Corporation had no other choice but to bring it back for good. Good on ya, New Zealand.

7. McKroket
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What's a kroket? Well, in The Netherlands a kroket is basically stewed meat wrapped up in a crispy fried shell. The crew at your local The Netherlands' Mickey D's then tops it with a mustard/mayonnaise sauce and slaps it between two pieces of bread. I love me some fried meat pouches. Mmmmmm!

6. McLobster
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This one's got a high fail potential, but how cool would it be to saunter into your local McDonald's and order a lobster roll? It'd be super cool, right? Right?!

5. McPoutine
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I've never had the pleasure of enjoying the Canadian delicacy known as poutine, but what's not to love about French fries topped with cheese curd and smothered in brown gravy? That's right: there isn't one thing not to love.

4. Double Prosperity Burger
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Sure, you could go for the single, but who doesn't want twice the prosperity? Get your priorities in order, bub.

3. McBulgogi
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I know what you're saying: "That's just a Big Mac. I've had a stupid Big Mac." That might look like your standard issue Big Mac, but that burger is made out of bulgogi, son!

2. Shogun Burger
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Teriyaki pork patty, egg, lettuce, bun. Simple.

1. CBO (Chicken Bacon & Onion)
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Like a BLT only better because it's got chicken and onions.


*And would if a) I found myself vacationing in the country in which the item exists and every other restaurant was closed and b) if I hadn't recently banned fast food from my diet.