Giant Electric Penguin's Highly Anticipated Oscar Fashion Wrap-Up Report 2012 Edition!!!
I love Oscar fashions! The gowns! The baubles! The designers I've never heard of and their designs that I will never be able to afford! I may not have watched more than Billy Crystal's opening whatever-the-hell-that-was last night, but I wasn't going to miss 2012's parade of fashions. Here are some of my favorites:
If you follow me on Twitter (and if you don't, what's wrong with you), you already know I'm weirdly fascinated with The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo's Rooney Mara. Here's how she looked. I give this outfit five out of five boners. (Sorry, everybody.)
Rooney's sister and Ben Harmon's dead, baby-snatching mistress, Kate Mara, showed up in this stunning gown that really accentuates her awful posture.
The world's most boring super hero flew in special for the event. Her super power: the supernatural ability to make people's eyes roll with a mere word.
It was a big night for Milla Jovovich. First, she shows up looking amazing in this glamorous gown. Then, she goes home with a whole armload of Academy Awards, including Best Supporting Actress for her role as Milady de Winter in The Three Musketeers, Best Original Screenplay for Midnight in Paris, which she wrote under the pseudonym "Woody Allen," and Best Actress for her role in 2010's Resident Evil: Afterlife. I didn't even know they could do that!!!
Here's what the person who judges everybody's appearance post-Oscars looks like. I call this look "Target-chic."
And congratulations to Nancy O'Dell, who was crowned 2012's Butter Queen on the Oscar's red carpet this year for some reason. I thought they gave that award out at a completely different ceremony. There is so much I don't understand about Hollywood.
If you follow me on Twitter (and if you don't, what's wrong with you), you already know I'm weirdly fascinated with The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo's Rooney Mara. Here's how she looked. I give this outfit five out of five boners. (Sorry, everybody.)
Rooney's sister and Ben Harmon's dead, baby-snatching mistress, Kate Mara, showed up in this stunning gown that really accentuates her awful posture.
The world's most boring super hero flew in special for the event. Her super power: the supernatural ability to make people's eyes roll with a mere word.
It was a big night for Milla Jovovich. First, she shows up looking amazing in this glamorous gown. Then, she goes home with a whole armload of Academy Awards, including Best Supporting Actress for her role as Milady de Winter in The Three Musketeers, Best Original Screenplay for Midnight in Paris, which she wrote under the pseudonym "Woody Allen," and Best Actress for her role in 2010's Resident Evil: Afterlife. I didn't even know they could do that!!!
Here's what the person who judges everybody's appearance post-Oscars looks like. I call this look "Target-chic."
And congratulations to Nancy O'Dell, who was crowned 2012's Butter Queen on the Oscar's red carpet this year for some reason. I thought they gave that award out at a completely different ceremony. There is so much I don't understand about Hollywood.