When I started listing one-hundred of the songs I hated, I made a promise to you that The Black Eyed Peas would appear multiple times. Well, it's time to make good on that promise. Ladies and gentleman: "Boom Boom Pow."
I somehow missed this song when it originally dropped out of will.i.am.'s auto-tuned asshole and plopped half-digested on pop radio. No foolin'. I had a vague awareness that there was a song called "Boom Boom Pow"--wasn't it in a trailer for Transformers: Rise of the Fallen Dark of the Moon or something?--but I never had the displeasure of actually hearing it. Until Sunday night. My family and I had just spent a delightful afternoon with some good friends and as a treat for the ride home, we turned on the radio. First we heard the end of the T.I. single "Live Your Life," a song that I like very much. Then, another song played, fading so quickly into the ether that I neither remember, nor care to remember, what it was. And, finally, "Boom Boom Pow." Oh, the humanity!
Not only is "Boom Boom Pow" another one of The Black Eyed Peas infamous "non-songs," but it offers listeners the added bonus of being covered in invisible hooks that sink into your brain, anchoring the song in your brain for hours after it is finished. I've been singing the words "boom," "boom," and "pow" for the last 15 hours and, needless to say, I'm pretty close to the edge, man. Damn you, The Black Eyed Peas, and your catchy, mediocre non-songs! I hate you so much...sob sob sob...
Actual lyrics from the song "Boom Boom Pow" by The Black Eyed Peas:
"I'm so three-thousand-and-eight/you so two-thousand-and-late" (Two-thousand-and-late??? THAT'S NOT A NUMBER!!!)
"I'm on the supersonic boom/Y'all hear the spaceship zoom?" (Do I hear the spaceship zoom? Um, NO!!!)
"Beats so big I'm stepping on leprechauns" (WHAT?!?!?!)
18. "You Can't Hurry Love" (Phil Collins)
The truth is, I love Phil Collins. I will defend this man until the bitter end. You can scoff, but I think Phil Collins has written some of the most memorable tunes of the last however many years I don't feel like researching blah blah blah...
That being said, this cover of a Supremes song is one of the worst pieces of garbage I've ever heard. Ugh. He doesn't even sound like he's interested in singing it, for Pete's sake. It's uninspired, boring, and, well, I hate it. Sorry.
"True Colors," on the other hand, I like.
19. "Fa La La" (Justin Bieber & Boyz II Men)
Hey, it's a Justin Bieber Christmas song.
Eff this song.
