I've been reading a lot this week about how Charlie Sheen is crazy and pathetic and thinks Thomas Jefferson is a pussy, and frankly, I'm sick of it. Why must the media continue to malign this young man? So, he's punched a few strippers! Who hasn't? So, he seems more interested in snorting wheelbarrow-loads of cocaine up his nose and beating up porn stars than taking his kids to the park. He's Charlie Effing Sheen, man! He's got a lot on his plate. Ever heard of a little television program called Two and a Half Men? I've never seen it, but I'm told it is the best situation comedy since the Friends bid a teary-eyed American public adieu in 2004. And now, for committing the crime of speaking the truth and making vaguely anti-Semitic comments about the man who's kept food on his table and coke in his nostrils for the past seven years, Sheen has been labeled a nut and had his beloved show ripped away from him. For shame!
You'd think Mr. Sheen is the only one on that show with problems. The truth is, while he's had his various run-ins with the law, Charlie is an angel compared to the cast of freaks and perverts he shares the screen with every week. Here is a quick rundown of just some of the shit Sheen's Two and a Half Men co-stars have gotten into over the last seven years. I think you'll agree these unfortunate actions make Charlie's recent round of insane radio ramblings look tame by comparison:
*In June 2009, Jon Cryer was issued a ticket for failing to pause his iPod Shuffle while crossing a busy New York City street.
*Holland Taylor routinely burns microwave popcorn in the Two and a Half Men staff break-room and blames the writers.
*TMZ reported last year that Conchata Ferrell was observed in a Los Angeles 7-11 convenience store taking TWO pennies from the "Take a penny, leave a penny" dish at the check-out counter and leaving NONE.
*Angus T. Jones hoards animals in his trailer.
You see the kind of scum Charlie Sheen is surrounded by? I actually feel bad for the guy.
