If there's one thing every American can agree on, it's that mustaches are totally boss. I mean, whose face hasn't been improved by the addition of a bushy strip of hair between the nose and lips? Burt Reynolds, Sam Elliot, Freddie Mercury, Borat, Cap'n Crunch--great men made all the greater by the facial hair they chose to sport.
But why should rugged, manly-types get all the mustaches, huh? And why should mustaches be limited to just human beings? The creators of the Carstache asked themselves that exact question for some reason. Their answer: mustaches shouldn't be exclusive to the human race! Everybody and everything should be able to experience the beauty and majesty of having a mustache, you know, except for women, because that would be totes gross. Hence, the Carstache was born.
Sure, the Carstache--quite literally a detachable mustache for the grill of your car that comes in 6 exciting colors: black, grey, blonde, orange, purple, and neon pink--will make your vehicle the talk of the town--provided nothing else of even the most miniscule importance has happened in the town you call home in the previous weeks--but will it change your life?
YES, it will make it better.
We made the Carstache® purely because we think it’s funny and it makes people smile. No other reason. When people see a Carstache® on the streets they laugh, wave, thumbs-up, fist pump, gun flex, wink wink, kiss kiss, you name it.
We made the Carstache® purely because we think it’s funny and it makes people smile. No other reason. When people see a Carstache® on the streets they laugh, wave, thumbs-up, fist pump, gun flex, wink wink, kiss kiss, you name it.
(Gun flex? That sounds vaguely threatening.)
Some of you will rock Carstaches on a day to day basis, and for that you are awesome. For most the Carstache® is a sensational flare piece for events and special occasions like tailgates, birthdays, bachelor parties, Bar Mitzvah’s, Father’s Day, weddings, Halloween, Cinco-de-Mustache, etc… When you drive into a tailgate with a Carstache® you get free beer, hot dogs, and high fives.
Some of you will rock Carstaches on a day to day basis, and for that you are awesome. For most the Carstache® is a sensational flare piece for events and special occasions like tailgates, birthdays, bachelor parties, Bar Mitzvah’s, Father’s Day, weddings, Halloween, Cinco-de-Mustache, etc… When you drive into a tailgate with a Carstache® you get free beer, hot dogs, and high fives.
(For reals? There isn't much I wouldn't do for free beer and hot dogs. I probably wouldn't participate in a kidnapping. Probably.)
From the Hills of Hollywood to the Plains of Panama to the Alps of Awesometown, let it be known that the Carstache® is hangin' loose and ready to ride! Your car grille has been naked until now. It’s time to ‘stache up and feel the power!
From the Hills of Hollywood to the Plains of Panama to the Alps of Awesometown, let it be known that the Carstache® is hangin' loose and ready to ride! Your car grille has been naked until now. It’s time to ‘stache up and feel the power!
So, yeah, I guess the Carstache has all the answers we've been looking for. And, hell, apparently the Carstache can help one to "channel the power of true American Legends" like Magnum PI, Hulk Hogan, and Gandalf.
You can purchase your very own Carstache right here. I suggest buying a few. One never knows which Carstache a particular situation might call for.
UPDATE: A friend on our Facebook page--by the way, are you friends with us yet?--turned us onto another "hilarious" bit of accoutrement for your motor vehicle: CarLashes, the eyelashes for your car! Now all my car needs is eyebrows, novelty nerd glasses, and eyeballs of some kind. Thanks, Internet!
