Before this feature, I had never heard of The Three Lives of Thomasina. Upon learning of its existence--I believe the nice folks at Netflix recommended it based on some of the selections I've made as of late--I knew it had to be a part of the 30 Days of Disney. Of course, I assumed it would be a perfect storm of schmaltz and goofiness, and therefore, a helluva lot of fun to rip to shreds with my razor-sharp sarcastic wit. Yes, Thomasina was to provide me with yet another opportunity to saturate Giant Electric Penguin with more of my seemingly never-ending supply of snark. Unfortunately for you, dear reader, I kind of totally loved it. No snark today, sir.
My viewing experience didn't start out as a love-fest. As the opening credits rolled, a cutesy song about the titular orange kitty brought a smile to my grizzly cheeks (Damn, I need to shave. I am so lazy!). I stopped grinning, however, when the credit "And Elspeth March as the voice of Thomasina" popped up on screen. "Thomasina talks?" I said to the empty room I spend nearly 99.9% of my time in when I'm not warding off suicidal thoughts at the office or taking a dump. I thought the "real" animals talking thing was a fairly recent, completely ill-advised, addition to the wonderful world of Disney, but here we were in 1964 with a talking damn cat. I prepared myself for the worst.
My viewing experience didn't start out as a love-fest. As the opening credits rolled, a cutesy song about the titular orange kitty brought a smile to my grizzly cheeks (Damn, I need to shave. I am so lazy!). I stopped grinning, however, when the credit "And Elspeth March as the voice of Thomasina" popped up on screen. "Thomasina talks?" I said to the empty room I spend nearly 99.9% of my time in when I'm not warding off suicidal thoughts at the office or taking a dump. I thought the "real" animals talking thing was a fairly recent, completely ill-advised, addition to the wonderful world of Disney, but here we were in 1964 with a talking damn cat. I prepared myself for the worst.Turns out, Thomasina is the film's narrator. She never actually opens her mouth and says anything. Plus, she speaks with a thick Scottish brogue. I was, for the moment, placated.
Then, literally, the first thing out of Thomasina's mouth (brain?) is a reference to her eventual murder. "Thomasina gets murdered?" I said aloud. The resulting echo proved how truly alone I was and I wept bitterly into the Carolina Panthers blanket I received as a Christmas present last year.
Thomasina's murder--and I assure you, she is murdered...sort of--turns out to not be that big a deal as far as murders go. Spoiler alert: the murder doesn't take. She comes back to life, in fact, she comes back to life fairly quickly.
The truth is, while Thomasina is totally cute (she could be the twin of my own cat, Garbage), her presence in the film serves merely as a catalyst for a whole bunch of totally delightful--and, sometimes, surprisingly dark--shit. I could easily describe the plot at this point--and I may in a forthcoming entry at the Movie Penguin blog--but I would rather you see it for yourself. Plus, I haven't been describing the plots of the movies on this list as much as I've just been cracking jokes at their expense. The Three Lives of Thomasina is worth your time. No joke.
Warning: Thomasina is not for hipster cynics, rabid atheists, people who hate cats, children, and/or the Scottish, or people without tear ducts.
My favorite part: the funeral procession and eventual funeral for Thomasina; any scene between Lori MacGregor, the "witch" of the glen, and Geordie, the good-natured ginger kid.
My favorite part: the funeral procession and eventual funeral for Thomasina; any scene between Lori MacGregor, the "witch" of the glen, and Geordie, the good-natured ginger kid.An observation: Susan Hampshire, who plays Lori, is absolutely gorgeous. She appears in a DVD extra called "Disney's Beautiful Witch," and I've got to say, for an elderly woman, she's still got it.
Arbitrary Grade: A-
