Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Petrozza's Second-to-Last Stand

As the old saying goes, 'it's not over until the fat guy says he's done 15 times.' Charlotte's own Petrozza seemed down for the count on last night's continuation of Hell's Kitchen, but black Gordon Ramsay, Bobby, brought him back around. "For some reason Chef Ramsay likes you," he said, drying Petrozza's eyes with his apron. In the end Petrozza finally stumbled through Ramsay's menu and was awarded with a high five from the Dark Overlord himself. And can I just say here that I am continuously flabbergasted by the men's team NOT knowing Hell's Kitchen's menu. How do you not know what you are about to cook and serve to the paying public? And you know Petrozza isn't the only one--it was just pick on the guy who served Gordon Ramsay a cornish hen in a pumpkin night, I think.

It was Sharon who felt Ramsay's wrath however, booted from Hell's Kitchen for being a shitty cook and wagging her tongue around while she worked. Really? This tongue thing bothered Ramsay so much he dubbed Sharon the "female Hannibal Lechter." As far as Ramsay insults go I thought that one was pretty weak. When my father is hard at work, concentrating on something, he will open his mouth and clench his tongue between his teeth. Seeing him do this my entire childhood, I find myself doing it all the time. I will probably pass this oddity onto my child. Is that so weird though? It was time for Sharon to go, but don't blame her tongue waggling, blame that whole can't cook for shit thing.
And what's with Louross encouraging members of the men's team to make love to the halibut they were chopping up into filets (pronounced fil-lets)? The weirdness just keeps coming with this guy, yet, Ramsay is more bothered by a wiggling tongue. I'm sure if Louross had dropped his pants, crawled onto the cutting board, and started thrusting into the cold, moist fish corpse before him, he would have been kissing his jacket good-bye last night. That would never happen, of course, and I'm sorry about the visual I just crammed into your head. Or am I?

Anyway, it was a fairly uneventful episode. The kitchens got a little better, emphasis on the 'little,' and no one stands out yet. My money is actually on Louross right now, but who knows what could happen in the coming weeks. Probably a lot of the same actually. I mean, the men's prize for winning the fish slicing contest was a day on a yacht with Chef Ramsay? That is so 1st, 2nd, and 3rd season.