This column (gimmick, whatever) is called Lyric Professor. I will comment on lyrics like I would comment on a student's essay. I will make suggestions, provide encouragement, and say bad things about your favorite songs. Let's begin.
Today's lyrics come from Criteria's "Prevent the World," which I recently stumbled upon while listening to Duke's campus radio station. When I first heard this song I was kind of digging the SDRE style riffing while pretty much hating the whole "you're preventing the world from hearing my songs" bullshit lyrical approach. In fact, that very lyric inspired the whole Lyric Professor idea. But a funny thing happened on the way to Snarksdale: I discovered a song I do not hate. There's a very special kind of earnestness to this song that I find endearing--a kind of earnestness I wish I could muster more often--an earnestness so pervasive that I can't believe I didn't catch it earlier. Now I'm not saying this is a great song, but it is a surprising song…to me anyway. Underneath self-important central complaint there's an earnest call to action and, more importantly, an offer of acceptance. And that's what rock and roll does best. From Chuck Berry to Kurt Cobain, rock and roll (or the best parts of rock and roll) has offered the disaffected, the lonely, the young (who are both terminally disaffected and lonely), and the abused a place to party, a place to explore, and a place to call home, at least temporarily while they're trying to escape from their parents and establish their own identities. Elitism in rock music, whether it's emo navel-gazing bullshit or cock rock posturing, is a poison, a disease, and a sin. And while "Prevent the World" is guilty of many sins, they're relatively minor. After commenting on the lyrics I did a little research and found out that Stephen Pedersen, Criteria's driving force, was in Cursive, White Octave, and Duke Law School. Makes perfect sense to me.
You can watch a video for "Prevent the World" here. Lyrics are in bold. My comments are italicized. Now on to the gimmick:
Criteria
Lyric Professor
Lyrics 111
"Prevent the World"
I'm stuck in a basement world where even if I tried
[Horrible way to start a song. For a much better take on a similar theme try John Vanderslice's "Me and My 424"]
To make rock my living, it wouldn't coincide
[What is "it"? Rock? Living? "Coincide" with what? What wouldn't coincide with what? I'm not following this at all.]
So how do I reconcile six years of life with the rational urges?
[Um, I don't know. I guess it's not really clear to me how six years of life is in conflict with "the rational urges." I don't even know what the hell you mean by "rational urges." I would accuse my students of poor word choice.]
Well, I still stay home
[Fine. Stay home then. See if I care. Uh, can we play NBA Jams on your Genesis?]
You're preventing the world from hearing my songs
[This line made me hate this song. Who is preventing the world from hearing your song? Lines like this maybe, but not me, man. Chill out, wouldya?]
Imagine if the world could get behind it
[Get behind what? Your songs? If so, that's a pronoun/antecedent error right there, friend. If not, what the hell are you talking about?]
The combined strength would propel us all
[This is an awesome line, but I'd like to know what is combined to create this strength that's going to propel us. Also, where are we going? Jupiter? I like to think that's what you're talking about. That would be awesome. One of Jupiter's moons might even have life on it. No shit. I saw it on Nat Geo.]
And release us from our stilted social norms
[Stilted means "artificially formal" or "pompous." I think the use of the word stilted here qualifies as stilted. However, I most humble condescend to vouchsafe your right to give all due consideration to each scintilla of lyrical balladry per your discretion et al.]
I'm believing what I'm feeling, yeah, is finally coming true
[Huh?]
Right now to forever; the rest is up to you
[What? Oh, geez. What are you expecting me to do now?]
So don't lay cold
[Izzat it?]
They force you to make a choice, but you don't have to choose
[Isn't refusing to choose choosing? I'm not trying to be an ass.]
Social norms engrave (engrain?) the way, but you can bend the rules
[Is it engrave or engrain? I couldn’t make it out.]
[Indistinct] the choice you make but not because it's cool
[Not sure what's going on here.]
There's a better way, we all want you to know
[I appreciate that. I especially appreciate it from the balding bass player. I'm balding and I play bass. You might want to, you know, keep that in mind next time you're, uh, looking for a bass player or something.]
