As I mentioned in our last installment, Halloween is a time for women to dress like sex objects and for men to ogle them with reckless abandon. That's how it is, but is that entirely fair? After all, women of the non-lesbian variety enjoy men, so it stands to reason that they too may want a little something sexy to look at too this October 31st. And what is a lady's favorite man part to ogle? If you said "the penis," you're probably wrong. I think most women would choose a nice smile or a toned stomach or a tight rear end over a thick veiny cock, considering most men don't walk around with their junk flapping free. This Halloween though, fellas, why not chose a costume that brings attention to the penis and then ridicules it mercilessly. I give you, the worst dick-centric costumes of all time. Notice the disturbing lack of balls. I did. Several times.
#1. The Skeleboner
#2. The Randy Banana
#3. The Snake Charmer
#4. The Guy Inviting People to Masturbate Him in Public
#5. The Giant Anthropomorphized Dick Thing
Oh, you know what? I think that last one is just Jabba the Hutt from the Star Wars franchise. My bad. Never realized how much he looked like a wiener before. Weird.
