They don't make horror movies like Night of the Demons anymore. I'll let you decide if that is a good or bad thing. Much of today's horror output is nothing but humorless gore, blood-gushing torture perpetrated upon attractive television actors, and derivative plot lines based on superior product from the 70's and 80's. Either that or J-Horror remakes and convoluted French gornography. Night of the Demons is the kind of horror movie you watched when you slept over at your friend's house in middle school. You know the friend--the one whose parents drank beer and didn't attend church regularly. You were always kind of nervous and excited when you spent the night there because your friend had HBO and there was no telling what you were going to see that night. Could be a gory teenage slaughter-fest, could be boobs. In the case of Night of the Demons you get both. Now maybe you are the type of person who doesn't enjoy the occasional horror film. I must admit, I do not understand your kind, but I ask you: could a movie with this opening credit sequence be all bad?
You are not dreaming. You did just witness the most jaw-droppingly awesome opening credit sequence in movie history. If there is anyone reading this that can tell me where I can find a downloadable copy of this theme song, I would be eternally grateful. I haven't spoken with the wife about it, but I would be willing to name my first child after you. [Editors note: This is no longer a possibility. We have named our first born and we're sticking with that name for now. Perhaps we can make a different deal]
It'd be hard for any movie to match the sheer brilliance of these opening credits, and sadly Night of the Demons doesn't come close, but nobody watches Night of the Demons for it's brilliant screenplay or it's engaging performances. No, you're watching Night of the Demons for this:
And this:
Our story takes place on Halloween night in the suburbs of Anytown, USA. Judy Cassidy is supposed to attend the Halloween Dance at school with local stud, Jay Jansen. After politely refusing a batch of Mrs. Cassidy's homemade fudge logs (which Judy's bratastic brother accurately describes as looking like "sun-dried poodle turds"), Jay informs Judy that there has been a change of plans. Instead of dancing the night away to Flock of Seagulls and Boy George in a stuffy school gymnasium drinking flat, fruit-tinged punch and eating Halloween-themed cupcakes, they will be attending a private party organized by goth misfit, Angela, and her slutty friend, Suzanne, at an abandoned funeral home called Hull House. Judy is understandably crushed--this was to be her and Jay's first big outing as a couple--but swiftly ignored, because in Night of the Demons women are to be groped and leered at, nothing more.
The remainder of the party guests include: Stooge, a deplorable human being who in reality no one could possible enjoy spending even the smallest increment of time around; Max and Frannie, who will be screwing in a coffin before the night is over; Rodger, the skittish preacher's kid; Helen, who has the distinction of being the first to meet her demise once the demons show up; and Sal, an Italian-American stereotype and Judy's ex-boyfriend.
Everyone reaches Hull House, trades various insults (I'm not sure any of the characters are actually friends, which makes their decision to spend Halloween together all the more strange), and dances to Bahaus. Someone suggests holding a seance. The gang finds a creepy mirror in a dark room and Angela tells them all to sit in front of it and concentrate. She postulates that if they all stare at themselves in the mirror and concentrate for long enough, the mirror will go dark and reveal her future to the group. Wait a minute! That's kind of selfish. Why the hell would anyone else care about Angela's future? And how the hell is that a seance exactly?
And this:
Our story takes place on Halloween night in the suburbs of Anytown, USA. Judy Cassidy is supposed to attend the Halloween Dance at school with local stud, Jay Jansen. After politely refusing a batch of Mrs. Cassidy's homemade fudge logs (which Judy's bratastic brother accurately describes as looking like "sun-dried poodle turds"), Jay informs Judy that there has been a change of plans. Instead of dancing the night away to Flock of Seagulls and Boy George in a stuffy school gymnasium drinking flat, fruit-tinged punch and eating Halloween-themed cupcakes, they will be attending a private party organized by goth misfit, Angela, and her slutty friend, Suzanne, at an abandoned funeral home called Hull House. Judy is understandably crushed--this was to be her and Jay's first big outing as a couple--but swiftly ignored, because in Night of the Demons women are to be groped and leered at, nothing more.
The remainder of the party guests include: Stooge, a deplorable human being who in reality no one could possible enjoy spending even the smallest increment of time around; Max and Frannie, who will be screwing in a coffin before the night is over; Rodger, the skittish preacher's kid; Helen, who has the distinction of being the first to meet her demise once the demons show up; and Sal, an Italian-American stereotype and Judy's ex-boyfriend.
Everyone reaches Hull House, trades various insults (I'm not sure any of the characters are actually friends, which makes their decision to spend Halloween together all the more strange), and dances to Bahaus. Someone suggests holding a seance. The gang finds a creepy mirror in a dark room and Angela tells them all to sit in front of it and concentrate. She postulates that if they all stare at themselves in the mirror and concentrate for long enough, the mirror will go dark and reveal her future to the group. Wait a minute! That's kind of selfish. Why the hell would anyone else care about Angela's future? And how the hell is that a seance exactly? Doesn't matter. As soon as the mirror goes dark, somebody makes a farting noise (Stooge, probably) and the spell is ruined. Everyone starts arguing, missing the giant demonic head that appears in the mirror. Everyone, that is, but Helen, who along with Rodger, decides she's had enough and leaves. The remaining guests decide to split up, I assume because that will make them easier for the forthcoming demons to murder. Say what you will about these kids--they sure know how to accommodate bloodthirsty killers from the pits of Hell.
Angela inhales some demon dust and becomes the first party guest to become possessed. And how does she display her new demonic powers? She dances of course.
Meanwhile, Jay attempts to sleep with Judy in the kitchen, Max and Frannie discover the joys of coffin fucking, and Rodger watches Helen splatter on the windshield of Stooge's car.
Meanwhile, Jay attempts to sleep with Judy in the kitchen, Max and Frannie discover the joys of coffin fucking, and Rodger watches Helen splatter on the windshield of Stooge's car.
Suzanne becomes a demon possessed loon after French kissing Angela, much to the delight of Stooge who, in turn, becomes demon possessed when he follows Suzanne into the dark. Later, Jay has his eyes popped like grapes while having sex with Demon Suzanne on a dirty bathroom floor, Sal gets impaled on a wooden stake, Frannie has her neck broken in mid-hump, and Max has a coffin lid slammed on his arm so hard it falls off and later attacks Judy who remains non-demon possessed along with Rodger.
Rodger's survival is proof of how ahead of its time Night of the Demons truly is. Rodger is the only African-American character in the film and as such I expected him to be the very first victim. I am not a racist, but that just seems to be the way things go in Hollywood films, especially movies of the sci-fi and horror variety. And lest you think I am getting this information soley from the tired routines of forgotten stand-up comedians, let me give you an example: Jurassic Park. You want something more recent? OK. One Missed Call. Before the opening credits roll, Meagan Good is drowned along with her cat. But Rodger survives. And how does he do it? Through the power of prayer. And with the quick thinking of Judy. In fact, Rodger is kind of pathetic character, until a sudden uncharacteristic act of selflessness in the film's final moments. The Rodger character is a step in the right direction though. Kudos, Hollywood, for giving African-American supporting characters in horror and sci-fi films something to aspire to. God bless.
Rodger's survival is proof of how ahead of its time Night of the Demons truly is. Rodger is the only African-American character in the film and as such I expected him to be the very first victim. I am not a racist, but that just seems to be the way things go in Hollywood films, especially movies of the sci-fi and horror variety. And lest you think I am getting this information soley from the tired routines of forgotten stand-up comedians, let me give you an example: Jurassic Park. You want something more recent? OK. One Missed Call. Before the opening credits roll, Meagan Good is drowned along with her cat. But Rodger survives. And how does he do it? Through the power of prayer. And with the quick thinking of Judy. In fact, Rodger is kind of pathetic character, until a sudden uncharacteristic act of selflessness in the film's final moments. The Rodger character is a step in the right direction though. Kudos, Hollywood, for giving African-American supporting characters in horror and sci-fi films something to aspire to. God bless.
It would be negligent of me to exclude Night of the Demons' B-story in this review. In the opening moments of the film we are introduced to a character known simply as Old Man. He has various encounters with our party-going heroes, encounters that leave him cold and indifferent to human life. He becomes so enraged by Stooge's wish of "Happy Halloween, asshole!" and Judy's kind offer to help him pick up his fallen groceries, that he plots to fill the apples he's just purchased with the razor blades he has also just purchased and hand them out to innocent, trick-or-treating children. Then there's all the stuff I wrote earlier (see above). Finally, we rejoin Old Man the morning following Halloween as he sits down to a breakfast of apple pie (?). He shovels two bites into his mouth before his wife, Old Woman, informs him the pie is homemade and that she used the apples he brought home from the store. Upon hearing this, razor blades slash Old Man's throat from the inside and he dies violently in front of his uncaring wife.Obviously, this scene doesn't work for myriad reasons. First of all, Old Man takes two giant bites of pie before his throat is slit. You mean he didn't feel the razor blades going down? Not only that, how did he not notice the razor blades before his fork even reached his mouth? Razor blades, unless specifically made for protozoa, are not generally microscopic and/or easy to swallow. Secondly, how and why did the razor blades wait to slash his throat open until he was told that he was eating a pie made from the apples he filled with blades? Were these some kind of sentient razor blades fond of irony? And thirdly, why did Old Man even take the time to jam razor blades into apples that he ended up not even handing out to anyone? If his threat at the beginning of the movie was simply an empty gesture, why did he go through all the trouble of creating blade-stuffed apples in the first place? And, hell, if Old Woman hated Old Man so much, why didn't she just get a divorce? No jury is going to believe that she didn't notice the apples she was slicing for a homemade pie were filled with razor blades. That's just poor planning on her part.
