The Smurfs Trailer Translated

Yes, here it is, once again, for your viewing pleasure: the trailer for the upcoming Smurfs movie. You're welcome.

Now for the uninitiated, the smurfs, as a people, are fond of substituting the word "smurf" for other words that would actually help a particular sentence make actual sense. For instance, a smurf who has just been playfully frightened by another smurf, say, for instance, Jokey Smurf has just presented Papa Smurf with one of his patented exploding presents, and Papa is standing there all charred and smoking and he says, "Yikes! I just smurf'd in my pants." I think it is fairly obvious that in this instance Papa Smurf has used the inoffensive term "smurf" as a substitute for the far cruder "poop," "shit," or "crap balls." You see how that works? I know, I know: it isn't funny, but that's not what we're here to discuss. What we are here to do is translate the Smurfs trailer for you. Just use our handy guide below to decipher what's being said and when. I hope you enjoy it. And, if you don't, you can go smurf yourself, you smurfhole.

--1:08: "I think I just smurf'd in my mouth (Translation: "I think I just threw up in my mouth."

--1:14: "Where the smurf are we?" (Translation: "Where the hell are we?")

--1:16:Tagline: "Our Turf...Gets Smurf'd (Translation: "Our Turf...Gets Covered in Offensive Graffiti")

--1:24: Hank Azaria as Gargamel says, "Smurfs." (Translation: "How much am I getting paid to be in this thing again? A lot, right?")

--1:35: "Whoo! Let's smurf this joint." (Translation: "Whoo! Let's smoke this joint.")

--1:43: "All right, who smurf'd?" (Translation: "All right, who ejaculated all over the family photo albums?")