DAY 3-Jen and I decide to award hypothetical stars to children we observe exhibiting good behavior and remove stars from those who fall out of line. We face a long day of star removal.
-I like Nemo and all, but I think I enjoyed The Living Seas more when it had more real fish and less animated ones.
-I suddenly realize that the wife and I are the only adults in a Test Track car full of children after a little girl in the front seat asks me to check if her little brother is buckled. "That's my sister," he tells me. "Usually, she doesn't act like she likes me." He repeats, "I don't like this part" for the duration of the entire ride. Jen finally asks, "Is there any part you DO like?" Every child who shares our car is awarded ten stars each because they are so awesome.
-Jen finds most of the international soft drinks at Coca-Cola's Cool Zone absolutely disgusting. I enjoy about three of them. I especially enjoy Japan's "healthy" veggie soda. I feel sorry for Italian soda-lovers, however.
-While waiting for our "less intense training" mission to begin on Mission to Space, a dude in my training module informs me that someone died at the Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular on Tuesday afternoon. I immediately start laughing imagining the death to be that of a spectator. "No, really," he continues. "One of the performers died during a practice run." I express regret, then wonder why I thought the death of an audience member seemed so humorous to me.-It doesn't matter how many times you repeat instructions in English, Honey I Shrunk the Audience cast members, if 90% of the audience is a tour group from a Spanish-speaking country, they ain't gonna do what they're told.
-Lunch in Norway. I tell Jen that I bet the young 20-somethings who come to Florida to work in the different countries at EPCOT totally get it on with each other on a regular basis. I mean, some of those Norwegian chicks are pretty hot.
-Chicken-flavored candy or candy-flavored chicken? You decide. Dinner at Nine Dragons in EPCOT China is lackluster. I've had just as delicious Chinese food at home.-Overheard while exiting the Monorail: "Stop that ridiculous singing. You don't gotta do that." -man to his nonsense-word singing son.
-Early evening spent reading graphic novels.
Day 4
-Karma shines its light on us, after a family of douchebags jumps in front of us to get on the bus to Animal Kingdom, as we arrive at the park before them on a much later bus.
-Finish Animal Kingdom in record time because of a) the wife's almost supernatural planning abilities and b) the fact that there isn't that much to do there.
-Following a nap, we spend the afternoon dropping cash at various Downtown Disney stores. I provide a running commentary on the events of the day in a fakey British accent which, surprisingly, seems to delight my wife.-Skip Rapery & Gifts because I don't like what they've got to sell. Rape.
-Hop a bus to Wilderness Lodge to catch a bus to EPCOT for 6:35 dining reservations in EPCOT Germany. Watch a man and his girlfriend make out in front of girlfriend's daughter.-Mad dash to EPCOT Germany. Jen leaves me in the dust, but I somehow make it in time to stuff myself with German delights.
-Overheard on the Monorail:
Old Woman: (referring to Old Man seated beside her) There he goes. All you got to do is get him in the car and he falls asleep.
Young Woman: (referring to baby girl on her knee) Same with this one. Isn't it funny how we're the same at the beginning of life and at the end of it?
-Back to the room; watch the Magic Kingdom fireworks show from our balcony.
