Something funny happened at the movie theater I visited this past weekend. The wife and I, along with some friends, took in a mantinee of I Love You, Man, and, per usual, before the feature presentation, we were treated to a few trailers. The first one was for a remake of The House on Sorority Row, which seems worse than you could possibly imagine. It's got a few things going against it right from the start: 1) that brainless mannequin from The Hills Joel McHale always makes fun of has a starring role; 2) it's based on The House on Sorority Row; and 3) I may be wrong, but I don't think 4 Out Of 5 Doctors makes an appearance and, in my opinion, they are the singular reason the original film is not completely worthless.The next two trailers were for films I'm quite looking forward to: Jody Hill's Observe and Report (starring Seth Rogen) and Judd Apatow's Funny People (also starring Seth Rogen). The audience enjoyed these trailers very much. We laughed. Some of us nudged our neighbors. The fourth trailer was for Harold Ramis' Year One (starring Jack Black and Michael Cera). The preview was funny and the audience responded with a variety of giggles, guffaws, and twitters. We were an audience primed and ready for the feature length comedy that loomed ahead. "We are officially ready to laugh, Mr. Hamburg! Give us all you got."
Alas, there was one final preview. I sat in stunned silence. Surely Regal Entertainment Group wasn't about to hit us with another hilarious film trailer. I've already busted my gut, sirs, are you looking now to split my sides as well? I warn you, you're looking at a lawsuit if you do any more laugh-related damage to my person.
Fortunately the trailer was for Dance Flick, the new cinematic abortion from the Wayans Brother's House of Shit. This movie looks so unfunny, that I actually felt angry. I considered storming out of the theater and demanding my money back (I'm glad I didn't--I Love You, Man was a delight, I'm just saying...). A dance movie spoof? Aren't dance movies already goofy enough? No, really. I don't know. I've never seen one of these ridiculous films.
And I was not the minority that afternoon. Absolutely no one in the theater was laughing. Some audience members seemed uncomfortable or embarassed, shifting in their stadium seats, avoiding eye contact with their significant other. It was as if a rape was being perpetrated in front of us, but we were all too frozen by fear and revulsion to move, like, maybe we couldn't believe it was happening right in front of us and if we closed our eyes it would vanish. When the trailer ended there was a collective sigh of relief, followed by yet another damn preview, this one for Star Trek (I've never had any interest in anything having to do with Star Trek and I still don't, but the movie might not be that bad, I guess). Thankfully, I Love You, Man started soon after and saved the afternoon, renewing our faith in the modern movie comedy.
(GEP is not including the trailer for Dance Flick with this post. You're welcome.)
