BEST ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE:
Josh Brolin (Milk)
Robert Downey Jr. (Tropic Thunder)
Philip Seymour Hoffman (Doubt)
Heath Ledger (The Dark Knight)
Michael Shannon (Revolutionary Road)
AND THE OSCAR GOES TO...
Since defeating his drug demons, Robert Downey Jr. has been on the fast track to best actor in the universe status. Whether he's playing second-tier super hero Iron Man or Aussie method actor Kirk Lazarus, this dude is exciting to watch. It's unfortunate he's nominated the same year as shoo-in Heath Ledger, who gives a brilliant performance as Batman archenemy, The Joker, but a newly-minted Academy rule requiring that the winner of the Oscar cross the stage and accept the award on his own behalf may work in Downey's favor. As for the other nominees: Call me crazy, but could a film about milk really be all that great--count Josh Brolin out. I seriously DOUBT Philip Seymour Hoffman is going to win (tee-hee). And finally, who the fuck is Michael Shannon and what the fuck is Revolutionary Road? Seriously. Oscar night is for movie stars, ok, not glorified extras.
BEST ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE:
Amy Adams (Doubt)
Penelope Cruz (Vicky Christina Barcelona)
Viola Davis (Doubt)
Taraji P. Henson (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button)
Marisa Tomei (The Wrestler)
AND THE OSCAR GOES TO...
Amy Adams (pictured here looking ravishing near a Doubt poster, rather than frumpy and nunned-up) is a pure delight. I haven't seen Doubt, nor do I have any plans to do so in the near or far-flung future, but I'm sure she does an adequate job playing a nun or whatever. I like when she's a magical princess who sings songs and speaks to squirrels.
Amy Adams (pictured here looking ravishing near a Doubt poster, rather than frumpy and nunned-up) is a pure delight. I haven't seen Doubt, nor do I have any plans to do so in the near or far-flung future, but I'm sure she does an adequate job playing a nun or whatever. I like when she's a magical princess who sings songs and speaks to squirrels. As for the other nominees: In no particular order, "really?" "you're kidding, right?" "who?" and "no joke--I've literally never heard of this person in my life."
BEST ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
Richard Jenkins (The Visitor)
Frank Langella (Frost/Nixon)
Sean Penn (Milk)
Brad Pitt (The Curious Case of Who Gives a Shit)
Mickey Rourke (The Wrestler)
AND THE OSCAR GOES TO...
In The Visitor, Richard Jenkins plays the victim of a vicious dog attack or flesh-eating virus, as far as I can tell from the above photo. I'm sure he acts with class and dignity and whatever else the media says about elderly character actors when the Academy finally recognizes them. All I know is that Jenkins was on Six Feet Under and that show was pretty darned great. Good luck, Dick!As for the other nominees: Again, a film about milk? I know you are a rebel who likes to do his own thing, Sean Penn, but I don't know how in the world this picture got so many nominations. I love putting milk on my Honey Bunches of Oats, but that doesn't mean I want to watch a two hour movie about it. I guess I wouldn't mind if Mickey Rourke won. He'd probably get teary-eyed and dedicate the Oscar to his dog who recently passed away. That might be touching and stupid. The other two can suck it.
BEST ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE:
Angelina Jolie (Changeling)
Melissa Leo (Frozen River)
Meryl Streep (Doubt)
Anne Hathaway (Rachel Getting Married)
Kate Winslet (Titanic)
AND THE OSCAR GOES TO...
As for the other nominees: Meryl Streep? More like Meryl Wins All the Time (am I right?)! Changeling was virtually impossible to beat off to, so I gotta say no to Ms. Jolie (Plus, didn't she just have octuplets? She should probably just stay home Sunday night.). I don't know who Melissa Leo is, but I'm sure she is just awful. And Titanic came out a long time ago. Nice try, Winslet.
TOMORROW: BEST SONG, BEST ANIMATED FEATURE, AND LEAST ANNOYING SCREENPLAY!
