It's finally arrived--the stupidest show in the history of television: Hole in the Wall. Apparently it's already a phenomenon around the world, but it is so mind-blowingly retarded I find it hard to believe it is not an American original. You can blame this idiotic affront to intelligence on the Japanese. Hole in the Wall proceeds as follows: teams of three dressed in tight-fitting, silver jumpsuits stand near a small pool and jump through differently shaped holes in a wall that is flying at them at top speeds. If a contestant can contort his or her body in a way that makes passage through the hole an inevitability, the team is awarded points. If a contestant cannot bend him or herself into the proper abnormal shape that is hurtling at them, he or she is knocked into the aforementioned pool. All the while a screaming audience of tourists surrounds the hapless contestants and a mysterious host-figure watches from his perch, offering snarky remarks and the repeated warning "it's time for the hole." The nightmare is completed by co-host Brooke Burns.
Is it just me or do you kind of feel nauseous every time host Mark Thompson says, "it's time for the hole" too? It's creepy!
I'd be more interested in a show called Glory Hole in the Wall in which contestants are expected to stick their respective wieners, willies, and pee-pees into various holes with no knowledge of what lies behind. Will it be a soothing bowl of pineapple JELL-O or a paper bag full of broken glass? A fresh cannoli or a hobo's toothless maw? I'm sure there's a game show like that in Japan already. Grow some balls and put that on during prime-time, Fox!
Here's hoping Hole in the Wall's demise is swift and without incident.
