Who?
It's Red Dragon all over again. Remember way back in 2002 when every Red Dragon commercial included the important reminder that it was a Brett Ratner film? "From the director of Money Talks and Rush Hour 2 comes Red Dragon! Be there, assholes!"
I have a real problem with these little "directed by" announcements, but only when it's a director without a distinct artistic vision or years of moviemaking experience under his/her belt. It turns out I actually enjoyed Red Dragon, but any hack could've directed it. Ratner had a good cast and great source material...that's it. Now we've got College. Have you seen the trailer for this thing? It looks abysmal. If I were Deb Hagan I'd get as far away as possible from this guaranteed box office failure. Book a trip to the Red Planet if possible, Ms. Hagan, because I promise this ain't gonna be pretty.
Oh, Deb Hagan directed something called Pee Shy (not this Pee Shy), which took the Audience Prize at the Woods Hole Film Festival in 2005. According to IMDB member actorsmom Pee Shy is an "awesome film!!!" so I guess it must be. [insert comical fart noise]
2. Have you ever watched an episode of My Super Sweet Sixteen and thought, "God, I wish that girl would die?" Don't feel bad. We all have.
Well, Mtv isn't killing these bitches (yet), but they are sending them to third world countries in an attempt to teach them lessons or something. I think Mtv.com put it best:
"These coddled kids will find out that their Louis Vuitton luggage won't win them any respect in their new homes. Tired of their behavior, their parents have signed on to send these pampered princesses and princes halfway around the world to live life in someone else's shoes ... and they ain't Manolo Blahniks, baby!"
They're not even Salvation Army Keds, baby! Most of these people don't even wear shoes! Some of them don't even know what the fuck shoes are! Holy shit! Tell me more, Mtv!
"Will any of these daddy's girls and mama's boys be able to handle being Exiled to remote locations, harsh conditions and life without a Sidekick? Will these smackdowns of super sweet proportions send them over the edge? Or will they summon some untapped inner-strength to not only meet the challenges ahead of them, but learn lessons that could change the path their lives may take in the future?"
Will they be able to handle their experiences? Probably. Will these trust fund bitches go "over the edge?" Mtv better hope so, because otherwise, who gives a shit? Will they change their lives based on the lessons they seem to learn through the magic of editing? Of course not! I think future cum-dumpster Amanda said it best when summing up her experience in Kenya: "They're obsessed with poop over there."
