From G's to Gents is Mtv's latest addition to the reality TV landscape, a landscape already rife with balding, washed-up rock-stars, psychotic religious dads, and half-dressed skanks. But, hey, let's introduce some hard-drinking, bling-swinging, former prison inmates to the environment and see what happens. Academy-award winner Jamie Foxx, along with four other individuals, came up with the concept, Sean Combs former umbrella-ist, Fonzworth Bentley, plays host, and the whole thing goes down in a mansion called The Gentleman's Club, which is actually quite the opposite of what one thinks when he/she hears the words "gentleman" and "club" conjoined. It's less of a strip club and more of a fraternity for young men with silver teeth.
Perhaps you're asking yourself, like I was, "what exactly is a G?" Actually, a G can be many things. Let me share with you what I gleaned from the riveting first installment:
1. G (pronounced 'gee') can stand for "gangsta." Some gangstas live the good life with money they've earned from, say, modeling, stripping, or hustlin'. Other gangstas may be flat broke, unemployed, or homeless. (Show contestant, Shotta, for instance, lives in his car. But don't feel too sorry for him, America, it's a Mercedes.)
2. G can stand for 'guido,' defined by solushus on the Urban Dictionary as being "a sad pathetic excuse for a male" who usually resides in New Jersey, wears tracksuits, assaults non-whites and homosexuals willy-nilly, and engages in date rape. I can't see G's to Gents resident guido, Cee, date raping anybody, but you just know he's got some tracksuits packed away with those 17 suits he brought along.
3. According to show contestant and new star of my nightmares, Creepa, G can also stand for 'goon,' which is a person hired to terrorize people. Creepa fancies himself a goon and he's damn proud of it. Neat!
4. I wish G stood for 'great guy,' but I'm pretty sure it does not.
So, now you know what a G is, but what does a G do? How do they live their lives? What are their personal philosophies? Here we go.1. First of all, real G's represent, son!
2. Some G's spend all day poppin' collars. (Apparently living in your car doesn't keep you from performing this activity.)
3. If a real G's gotta take a piss, he does it wherever he damn well pleases--a tree, a corner, the wall of a rented house, and in Pretty Ricky's case, if none of these makeshift urinals are available, it is perfectly acceptable to simply piss your pants. Now that is straight up pimpin'!
4. And since I mentioned it, let's talk about a G's nickname. Apparently, when one has decided to become a G, he needs to choose a retarded nickname for himself. Some examples: J-Boogie, The Truth, Creepa, and the aforementioned, Pretty Ricky.
5. G's dress to impress. That may mean multiple necklaces, stylish sweat-bands, or a Michael Jackson glove.
6. Some G's work as lab assistants. But don't worry, most don't. Most are hopelessly unemployed. Holla!
And, finally, how much money does it take for a human being who has decided to turn his back on common sense and live an angry, hopeless existence to embarrass himself week-after-week on a reality game-show that is kinda-if-you-think-about-it racist?Apparently, one-hundred thousand bucks. Yea!
