Destination: Nilbog (pop. 26)Disaster: Trolls...I mean, goblins.
Troll 2 is a cult film of the "so excrementally bad it's good" variety, and here are some reasons why it is so terrible/awesome:
1. The Waits family participates in something called a "vacation exchange" with a family they've never met. A "vacation exchange" is when one family trades houses with another family for up to a month. If this sounds like the worst idea ever, you're right, especially if you are trading houses with a creepy family from a ghost town called Nilbog, which is soooo obviously Goblin spelled backwards. Why wouldn't you trade houses with a family from Hawaii or the south of France?
2. Important vacation lesson #1: "You can't piss on hospitality. I won't allow it!"
3. This:
4. If a family vacation is threatened by a war of words between your dad and your horny older sister, sing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat." Sing it (poorly) in a round if necessary.
5. In the epic battle between goblins and mankind, the only weapon necessary to prevail is a little boy with a double-decker bologna sandwich!
6. And let's talk about the goblins' disdain for meat products. When Joshua starts to eat the double-decker bologna sandwich given to him by his dead grandfather, the Goblin Queen implores him to think about the fat content, the cholesterol. Granted, the goblins want to feed us chocolate cake that turns us into slimy, green plant-goo and eat us, but they also seem to care about our health. See, nobody is all bad.
7. This:
8. This strange conversation between father and son (setting the scene-Joshua has just prevented his family from eating a dinner made with goblin-goo by pissing on the food)
Joshua: What are you going to do to me, Daddy?
Michael: (looks as if he is removing his belt to whip his son) Tightening my belt one loop so that I don't feel hunger pains, and your sister and mother will have to do likewise. Okay, Joshua. You wanna get rough with me? You wanna show me that you don't like the choice of this house for our vacation by going on a hunger strike? Well, I'll accept the challenge. But just remember when I was your age, I really did suffer from hunger. We'll see who gets through this, but just remember I've got more practice than you. I'll see you tomorrow.
I want to know more of Michael Waits' back-story. He suffered from hunger? Are we talking starvation or just regular old "I'm hungry--think I'll have a snack?"
9. Re: #6-The goblins do seem concerned with Joshua's diet, but they also eat his mom, so..maybe they do suck.
