Was anyone on the planet Earth surprised by The Love Guru's colossal failure at the box office last weekend? If you weren't, you've done a fabulous job convincing yourself that Mike Myers' formula of wacky-characters and poop-jokes is still relevant. Pat yourself on the back, sir or madam--you hate comedy.Perez Hilton blamed Justin Timberlake, but I think that's letting Mr. Myers off way too easily. I blame Myers' outdated jokes as well as his failure to recognize that his comedy crown has been stolen by Everyman jokesters like Seth Rogen and Jason Segel, by films rooted in reality and not the audiences' willingness to tolerate a silly accent and comical facial hair for two hours.
Now to be fair, I haven't seen The Love Guru, and based on the lack of laughter emitted by my body during several painful viewings of the trailer, I doubt I will in the near future. I did rent Scary Movie 3 finding myself bored and desiring some 'easy laughs' one afternoon, so who knows. Also, I like Mike Myers. I think he can be really funny. The first Austin Powers movie was hilarious, it being the first important example of the now stone-dead Wacky Charcter-Based Comedy Feature. The sequels lacked the freshness of the original, but there were little bits here and there to cherish and enjoy. And people seem to like Shrek. But while Mike Myers was deep in his comedy laboratory perfecting his Guru Pitka character, the comedy-climate shifted. We witnessed the triumphant return of the R-rated comedy with films like Wedding Crashers and The 40 Year Old Virgin. We watched the rise of the mighty Judd Apatow and his cadre of stubbly-cheeked oddballs. Mike Myers apparently wasn't informed about any of this or maybe he just didn't care. The thing is Mike Myers could be great again. He's very funny (dare I say brilliant?) and has a large fanbase, though very few of them, including myself, have given two shits about his output as of late. There are some actions he could take, paths he could stroll down, to earn back our trust, he just has to be willing.
1. Do something lowkey. I for one loved So I Married an Axe Murder, but as we all know it was a huge flop. But, hey, who cares? I mean, it was dark, strange, and, hell, you still got to play a wacky character (Charlie's very Scottish, Bay City Rollers loving father) and it wasn't annoying. Do not take your cues from fellow multiple-character playing has-been Eddie Murphy--scale down. Don't fill the next film to the brim with rubber-suited whackos.
2. Look to Adam Sandler. The Love Guru may make You Don't Mess with the Zohan look like a masterpiece of cinema, but let's face facts, it's a trainwreck as well. Sandler though will occasionally take dramatic roles, a choice that has paid off for him in some big ways. I was reminded how much I liked Sandler when I caught Spanglish on TBS last weekend. He's very likable, sweetly funny, and lowkey (don't cringe from that word, Michael--embrace it). Hey, everybody's doing it: Jim Carrey, Will Ferrell. You did 54 and people admired you for it. Now do that Keith Moon biopic people keep whispering about. I'll be the first in line.
3. No more skit movies. Waynes World worked and I actually enjoyed Waynes World 2, admired it for it's silliness, but instead of suing you for backing out of the Sprockets movie a couple of years ago, the studio should have sent you a fruit basket and a thank you note. We all love Deiter, sure, but we don't need to watch him dance and pet a monkey for an hour and a half. I mean, what's next, Coffee Talk: The Search for Paul Baldwin? Guru Pitka never appeared on SNL, but he could have. As a sketch he might have been funny once a month, otherwise, not so much.Who am I though? Nobody. But I do believe in you, Mr. Myers, and I do want you to make America laugh again. Now get out there and
TRY HARDER!
