Get your credit cards ready, porn-lovers! The Verne Troyer sex tape is on the way! Finally, my Christmas shopping dilemma is solved.The moment I heard about this I thought about that old Denis Leary bit where he talks about the youngest Hanson brother purchasing a hooker and climbing up inside of her. Verne Troyer could really do that!!! I mean, do you realize that, man? Verne Troyer could literally climb up inside a woman's utereus! He's a lot like a baby when you think about it. He's tiny, hairless, and urinates whenever and wherever he damn well pleases. What's stopping him from climbing inside a lady and taking a little cat-nap?
I haven't decided whether or not I want to see this tape yet (though I'm currently leaning toward "oh, hell yes"), but I do know one thing: it can't be any worse than the Tonya Harding honeymoon tape. She doesn't make any noise during the entire awkward act of making love to her hubby. Creepy.
