Why's everybody always picking on Matt? I mean, sure, he's fat, obnoxious, difficult to look at, and a crap chef, but c'mon, cut the guy some slack! His team ignored him at the Farmer's Market ("guys, there's a little supermarket over here"), Bobby pushed him off the fish station (which was totally beyond his ability to control), and Gordon Ramsay told him Louross, the world's tiniest Filipino man, had bigger balls. It was almost enough to make you feel sorry for the big ox. Course, I can't be depressed when it's party time...WOOOOOO!There's nothing better than a fake Sweet Sixteen to teach a group of amateur cooks how to run a fine dining establishment. Am I right? Do you know a better way? Quiet instruction, perhaps? Constructive criticism? Hell no! It takes yelling, curse words, and trash bin kicking. That's the only way anyone can learn anything as far as I'm concerned.
With the help of Francisco the Offensive Gay Stereotype and some delicious (although at times over- or under-cooked) entrees, the fake party went off without a hitch. The evening was capped off with a performance by Spider Patrol or The Itsy Bitsy Spiders or Spider Something (it could've been Snake Something)...let's just call them Shitty Emo Band #35.
While the teenagers rocked out outside, Ramsay went about the business of removing some dead weight from the real kitchen of his fake restaurant. His choices: plucky Rosann, who undercooked the birthday girl's steak (oh no!); slow-poke Shayna, who Corey believed might be slow because she is so fat (wow, bitch much?); and Matty, the sweaty fat guy nobody loves (awwwwww). In the end, Rosann was told what a disappointment she was to Ramsay, Matt was moved over to the women's kitchen, and Shayna slowly waddled her way to obscurity. I can hardly wait for next week's promised "most explosive episode ever."
Actually, I can probably wait.
