But America also only likes congenital kidney suffers who are family men. So when news broke that 40 year old Different Strokes star Gary Coleman wed his 22 year old girlfriend of five months, Shannon Price, he was destined to return to the 'A' List and his film "Church Ball" would start a revival in the religious sport movie genre. Also the institution of marriage was bound to profit from his celebrity endorsement. Like Brad and Angelina with global poverty, Gary Coleman was going to help eradicate that 50 percent divorce rate.
Now that scenario has gone from a sure thing to a long shot. News broke this week that he and his newlywed wife are filing for divorce after 8 months of marriage. TV Judge Lynn Toler will have to hear their case on an upcoming two-part episode of "Divorce Court." (Check your local listings.)
Price is angry over their monthly fights (all 8 of them), Coleman's complete lack of friends, their mediocre private life and that Coleman still won't have sex with her. In fact Gary admits that at age 40 he's still a virgin. (Hmmm, I think I see a movie concept there.) Price is also unhappy that Coleman disappears inexplicably from their home in the middle of the night.
The only thing left to wonder about is how this will affect his status as a security guard? Many people will probably wonder how they can trust him to secure the outlet mall against "the Gooch" if he can't provide security to his own ill conceived marriage?
So for now that lawsuit against the producers of Avenue Q will have to stay in everlasting frivolous limbo. Arnold Jackson has bigger fish to fry.
-jordan
