I admit when I heard that Derek Jeter convinced the Yankees to sign Billy Crystal to a one-day contract for his 60th birthday I rolled my eyes, and when I heard him describe the experience as "the strangest, greatest moment of [his] life," it actually made me kind of mad. How can someone who has accomplished so much in his career through hard work and talent consider a publicity stunt the greatest moment of his life? Part of me wants to think that if given the opportunity, I wouldn't take it--that I'd have to much pride to be used for publicity or, worse, pitied for my age. But when I saw this video of the diminutive Crystal taking his hacks against major league pitching, and not quite embarrassing himself, I knew I'd jump at the chance if I were in his situation. And so would all the sportswriters and fans out there calling this a publicity stunt and a gag and saying he's embarrassing himself. They're just jealous, and as much as I kind of hate the Yankees and being given stuff I don't deserve, so am I. Others may have seen an over-the-hill comedian in the midst of the ultimate mid-life crisis--they may call it a "publicity stunt" that "prostitutes baseball," but, Billy, if just for one shining moment, I think you looked "mahvelous!"

And, uh, just for the record, I think it'd be awesome if they brought out some call girls in spring training. Maybe even give 'em their own league. Can you imagine going out to the ballpark and seeing this? GEP approves of sexy sports.

-jonathan