When I was a kid, my favorite video game was Kid Icarus for the NES. I don't know why exactly: it was irritating, repetitive, and impossibly hard. Kid Icarus did more to foster and further develop my burgeoning short temper than anything else growing up. "You mean when I die, I gotta start over?! FROM THE BEGINNING!?!" My first curse words were uttered during an afternoon round of Kid Icarus. The first controller I threw in anger was probably a result of sliding off of an ice platform for the twentieth time in ten minutes. I couldn't get past Level 1-2, yet I considered Kid Icarus the finest game Nintendo had ever created. It made Super Mario Bros look like a pile of trash in my opinion. I have some theories as to why.First, I loved Greek mythology as a kid. I still do in fact. The idea of a video game (sort of) based on my favorite Greek myths was mind-blowing to me. True, very little of the game--that I ever saw, mind you--contained anything remotely similar to the heroic stories I knew and loved. I mean, Icarus had nothing to do with Kid Icarus. The game's protagonist was an angel named Pit who carried a bow and an unlimited quiver of arrows and fought anthropomorphized eggplants and flying baby grim reapers. The game has a lot of columns. That's Greeky.
Second, I loved the music. Still do in fact. It is so triumphant. Listen to this:
That's my jam, son!
Anyway, as I've already mentioned, I never beat Kid Icarus. I never even got close. The constant tumbling off of things into an inky black abyss, the never-ending hoard of winged snakes falling from the heavens, the grim dancing specter of death and his floating "death babies" finally got to me and I gave up. I think I moved on to Ducktales or something.
Last year, I purchased Kid Icarus via the Nintendo Shop on Wii. It was a nostalgia purchase, but I think part of me believed that at 31 I was finally prepared to conquer Kid Icarus once and for all. Yeah, that didn't go well. But now, a year later, I think I'm ready. I'm 32, I've bulked up a little (thanks, Crystal Palace!), and I've got what one might call the "skills to pay the bills." That's a thing one might say, right? Maybe it's "skills" with a "z," like "skillz." Doesn't matter. What matters is that this month I will beat Kid Icarus and I'm taking you all with me on this journey to victory.
I started this morning with a rare moment of beginner's luck, conquering Level 1-1 with the ease of a ballet dancer who is also a talented video game player. The next stage, 1-2, found me twice murdered by flying grim reaper fetuses and once toppling into nothingness. Three restarts is my limit. I was able to contain most of the fury these failures riled within me--my daughter was a mere three feet away playing happily and I didn't think she needed to witness her daddy losing his shit over a video game from the 80's--but I was unwilling to push my luck. So, right now, I'm taking a little break from Kid. The Wii is on, ready to go if and when I'm prepared for the next round. Stay tuned to GEP all month long and find out what happens. And, please, if you can find it in your heart to encourage me, either in the comments section or on our Facebook page, do so. I can do this if I know you are all behind me. Thanks. And God bless.
