Gotta get down on Friday!

It's finally Friday! Time to party! But what is there to do on a Friday night for someone on a tight budget? It costs ten bucks to see a movie and that's before popcorn, soda, Twizzlers, and three games of Big Buck Hunter. Dance clubs are loud, sweaty and full of morons and there's a darn good chance you won't even get in, you nerdy loser. I guess you could go out and have a nice dinner with your friends. Oh, I forgot, you don't have any friends and, face it, most restaurants won't serve someone who refuses to wear a shirt and we all know your history with shirts (I know, I promised I wouldn't tell anyone. And I won't. I'm just sayin'.). What is a party person to do?

Well, I don't know if you've heard, but things are heating up over at Walmart. Yeah, that's right: Walmart. You were still under the impression that Sam Walton's omnipresent, omnipotent corporate behemoth of mass consumption and instant gratification existed merely to provide poorly dressed yokels with great deals on frozen pizza, straight-to-video Steven Seagal movies, and everything else their enlarged little hearts desire, not to mention single-handedly end the tyranny of local mom-and-pop operations? No way, man! Walmart is, apparently, a happening place to be, at least when you do it the way up and coming rap semi-star Mr. Ghetto does it.

Wow! Let the good times roll, right? Looks like all you need is a video camera, a shopping cart, and some ample-buttocks friends with tight-fitting shorts and it's on. I'm going to Walmart right now! Who's with me?