Children: love 'em or hate 'em, they exist. Not only do they exist, but for the first, I don't know, 10 to 11 years of their lives, children are pretty much dependent upon their parental overlords to clothe, shelter, feed, and generally take care of them. That isn't much to ask, is it, people with kids? You created a brand-new life form, now why not do everything you can to help it grow and flourish. Seems perfectly logical to me.So why have 19 kids already died in hot cars so far this year? That's a record by the way. According to USA Today, 30 to 40 children fry to death in the back of parked cars a year, but this is the first year since researchers started tracking this shit in 1998, that so many have perished in the first half of a year. Congratulations, America. You are dumber than anyone could have ever imagined.
Is the fact that babies and toddlers will most assuredly die the most horrific of deaths if left unattended in a parked car during the summer months a news flash to anyone? It shouldn't be. If it is, you need to get out more. Or, I don't know, rev up that slimy mass between your ears and think about someone other than yourself for once. You've climbed into your car after a day at the office and felt how sweltering the interior can be. "Man, it sure is hot inside this car!" you've probably said to yourself or the ladies you carpool with or the dead baby in your backseat. It's difficult to breathe. The steering wheel feels like a frying pan. Now imagine that you sat in that car all day long. And imagine you didn't do it willingly, but, rather, the person you look to for comfort and protection abandoned you there without a second thought. Maybe that person was frazzled, had other things on his mind. Doesn't matter what the reason is: you've just watched the person you trust more than anyone else leave you in an incinerator. "He'll be right back, I'm sure," you'd think. Oh, man, are you wrong though...
I'm sorry, but if you've got a baby in the car, what other things do you have on your mind? You've got a laughing, cooing human life wiggling around in the backseat and you just plum forgot? Eff you! You're a scumbag! You made sure the twenty-something barista got your coffee order right, why not make it a priority to keep your kid alive.
But, hey, some people forget. Life is hectic. Maybe you got stuck taking the kid to day-care and it's something you don't usually do. There are countless chapters in that story. In fact, Peter Pronovost, a safety researcher interviewed for the USA Today story that inspired this piece, suggests that our cars be responsible for reminding us that we've got our offspring along for the ride and that if we had alarms and magic seatbelts, we'd be less inclined to absent-mindedly murder our children.
"We should not focus on punishing the moms or saying 'Try harder,' " Pronovost says. "We need a system solution. Moms and dads will always be sleep-deprived and forgetful."
Shut up, Pronovost! We should punish moms and dads and daycare employees and whoever else is driving our kids the hell around when they do stupid shit like this. And we should keep punishing them until the rest of the brain-dead dolts we allow to procreate in this country learn that leaving your children in a hot car while you get your nails done or receive a lap dance or work an 8-hour day is not only morally wrong, but utterly insane, and if you do it you are fucked. Pronovost isn't a fan of telling parents "try harder?" Well, I sure as shit am! Try harder, you jerks! I should never have to open a newspaper and see a story about a kid frying to death in the backseat of a parked car. It just shouldn't happen. You work on those car alarms, Pronovost. I'll stick with shouting at idiots. Don't leave your kids in the car! Just stop already!
