The Sunday comics have gotten smaller. Well, they've gotten smaller in Raleigh's News & Observer anyway. Yep. Every one of them. Except Prince Valiant.Now I've made no secret of my disdain for the funny pages over the years, heck, I created a feature on this blog to document this near constant disgust. But deep down I really love the funnies. I've been a fan of Bill Amend's Fox Trot since it started, in fact, it was the only comic strip I read religiously until Mutts and Pearls Before Swine came along (I'm also quite fond of Mark Tatulli's Lio--I find it delightfully twisted). And who can forget the classics: Calvin and Hobbes, The Far Side, and, yes, Peanuts (Note: I myself am not a fan of Peanuts, but just about everyone I associate with is and I can see why--it truly is a quality strip and an inspiration for many of the cartoonists of which I am a fan). So, I don't hate the idea of the Sunday comics. What I do hate are the comic strips that don't try anymore or that were never funny and remain unfunny to this very day. I know I give him a hard time on this blog, but Marmaduke was never funny. And seriously, News & Observer, why the fuck did you bring Hi and Lois back? Was there a public outcry for this waste of space? I must have missed that one.
Regardless of how you feel about this comic strip or that one, the fact that the funnies have gotten physically smaller is alarming. I'm not talking about fewer pages (although there are, in fact, fewer pages now), I'm talking about postage stamp-sized cartoons. Pretty soon I'm going to need to bring a magnifying glass to the breakfast nook on Sunday mornings. All my favorites, as well as all the strips I hate with a fiery passion, are getting smaller and smaller and smaller.
All of them except for Prince Valiant. Yes, Prince Valiant still looms large and proud on page two of my Sunday funny pages. Page three squeezes three comic strips into the space that Prince Valiant gets. What the hell is up with that? Does anyone actually read Prince Valiant anymore? Has anyone ever read Prince Valiant? Sure, he's a great go-to reference when making fun of a friend's new haircut, but other than that, what purpose does his story serve? If I'm out of line tell me. What is even going on in this ridiculous strip? I remember three weeks in a row of Prince Valiant and the crew of some ship fighting a giant squid and that seemed kind of cool, but what's going on today? Let's check it out.
OK. Looks like some Beast Men are quarreling with some Weed Men (whatever they are) and some black dude is trying to help everyone reach a peaceable...who gives a shit?! Nothing's going on. It's like all those scenes in the galactic senate in the latest Star Wars trilogy: useless, confusing, and boring. In fact, those are the exact adjectives I would use to describe Prince Valiant. You know, Prince Valiant's had a good run--he's been adventuring around since 1937 for Pete's sake--so why don't we just give him a rest. And a haircut.
