Sagula Munda, a two year old boy living in Bhubaneswar, India, wed his neighbor's dog this week in an effort to break a curse brought about by an errant tooth. The marriage will hopefully protect the child's village from vicious animal attacks, specifically those from the tiger community. Before you scoff, imagine you've just been informed that you could be attacked by bloodthirsty tigers at any moment. You could be walking down the street, whistling a jaunty tune, not a care in the world and...KABLAMMO...tiger attack. You might be enjoying a fancy dinner with your sweetheart, recounting a charming tale from your youth in the Midwest and...KABOOM...you're tiger chow. I think you'd do just about anything you could to avoid random tiger attacks, including being bonded in holy matrimony to your neighbor's schnauzer. Here is a list of things I would be willing to do to break the curse of neverending, random tiger attacks.
OTHER THINGS I WOULD BE WILLING TO DO TO BREAK A TIGER ATTACK CURSE:
1. Read the entire Sweet Vally High novel series.
2. Take a dump live on national television.
3. Play "7 Minutes in Heaven" with porcine stand-up comedian Louie Anderson.
4. Receive pudding enemas three times a week.
5. Drink a liter of Kool-Aid that has been stirred by Poison front-man Bret Michaels' dick at the conclusion of the Vh1 dating reality show Rock of Love Bus.
