What the WTF?

These are trying times, people. The world is in chaos, nations are at war, children are dying of starvation, and what can we do but shout "why?" repeatedly into the void--the empty, black void of death, doom, and despair. Who will hear our cries? Who will tell us where to turn, where to go, what to do? I demand MANswers! The cable network Spike (TV for Douchebags) MANswers all of life's difficult questions. Questions like:

*How can I beat a drug test?

*How long can a man survive on beer alone?

*What do the shape of a woman's boobs tell you about her personality?

OK, so I guess they just MANswer questions that men ask themselves, or rather, the questions Spike believes men ask themselves. And, hell, if you forget the MANswer to your favorite question, there's a DVD: Here are some questions Spike might be MANswering on the next rivetting season of this supremely retarded program:

*Beer Bongs: How many is too many?

*How much should you tip a hooker?

*What is the best date rape drug currently on the market?

*Why do all gay men want to have sex with me?