ZITS: WHIMSICAL TEENAGE FARCE
OR
UNSTOPPABLE PARADE OF MEDIOCRITY
Teenagers are difficult to deal with/be around/share the planet with. They're obnoxious, sarcastic, and rude. If you need proof, visit your local mall, purchase a soft-pretzel, find a comfortable bench to relax upon, and take in the show. If you don't have the time (or the intestinal fortitude) to waste your life at the mall, just think back to when you were a teen. In fact, take a moment right now. I can wait. Go ahead
Scary, huh?
Maybe you're a teenager right now. If so, save yourself years of bickering with your parents and realize that you are an asshole. You probably don't mean to be, but you are. All teenagers, to some degree, are insufferable assholes. I know what you're thinkng, Emo Jones--"it's just a stereotype," but I know I speak the truth because I have been there. You can't help it. It's puberty and spontaneous erections and the rap music. It's got you all bug-a-boo.With the exception of Doogie Howser and that super-powered cheerleader who helped save the world that one time, teenagers are lazy, tech-obsessed mooches who are simultaneously appalled by their parents and dependent on them for spending money. In that respect, Jeremy Duncan, the 15 year old hero of the popular comic strip Zits, is a worthy representative of the species. Look at him, with this laptop, digital camera, electric guitar, and his Starbucks. He is Mr. Teenager 2008. All he needs now is a Blue Tooth jammed in his ear hole. Since 1997, writer Jerry Scott and illustrator Jim Borgman have been entertaining America with Jeremy's exploits and I'm here to say it's gotta stop. In truth, Zits is far from the worst comic strip out there (I'm looking at you, Marmaduke), but it's offenses are still most grievous
First of all, we get it! It's been 11 years of the same hackneyed crapola. Teenagers are lazy. Teenage boys like teenage girls a whole lot. Teenagers would rather have their toes gnawed off by field mice than be seen in public with their parents. Over and over and over and over...STOP IT! How much humor can you keep mining from the same funny pit? Jeremy is tapped out, man--seriously, there is no more comedy gold left in his cartoon bones. Let him die. Or at least let him grow up. Jeremy hasn't learned a damned thing in 11 years and at this rate when he reaches his late 30s he's going to be like Will Ferrell's character in Step Brothers-stupid, whiny, and prone to violence, not to mention painfully unfunny.
Secondly, I just hate stuff like this:
DAMMIT! What more do you want, Zits? We get it--teens and parents will never see eye to eye. Ugh.What's the answer though? How do you make a comic strip feel fresh and new? Apparently Borgman has shown interest in tackling weightier issues like drugs and premarital sex, and while that is a terrible idea, at least he's thinking outside the panel. But Scott isn't having it, so I guess we can look forward to another 11 years of Jeremy sleeping in late and being a dick to his parents. Pardon me if I don't LOL.
