Worst Vacation Ever: Sleepaway Camp

I never went away to camp when I was younger. My parents probably would have allowed me to go, but it was more of a personal choice. I prefer familiar surroundings and I don't like leaving my stuff unguarded. I don't know though, summer camp could've been super sweet. Sadly, I'll never know, but I do have the summer camp movies of the 1980's to give me a glimpse at what I may have missed. Let's take a look at Camp Arawak, for example, and compile a list of pros and cons:

PRO: Corn on the cob for dinner! Yummy! CON: Camp Arawak's head chef is a dangerous pedophile who isn't opposed to molesting young girls in his walk-in freezer.

PRO: Judy. Oh, man, is she ever hot! She's really developed since last summer.

CON: Judy is kind of a slut. She'll make out with anyone. Actually, that might still be a pro.

PRO (or CON-depends): All male campers and staff members are required to dress in 70's gay porn attire.

PRO: All the canoeing, camp socials, and overnight camping trips you can shake a stick at!

CON: A gender-confused psychopath could murder you at any minute. My advice to you: do not fuck with Angela. There's something up with that chick.
PRO: You can totally swear as much as you want.

CON: Oh, but if you swear at and fight with the dudes who are relentlessly picking on your autistic cousin, the cigar-chomping camp director will assume you are the pyschopath who has killed a bunch of people, including his underage girlfriend, and beat you to death.

PRO: Four words: Rooftop Water Balloon Fight!

CON: You more than likely will not survive the summer.