Without Vh1 Classics I may have never discovered what has quickly become one of my all time favorite songs. I couldn't name another The Jam song if I was being held at gunpoint, but if this song is a clear indication of what they're about, I'm all in. I dare you not to instantly fall in love with this song. I double dare you!
Favorite Lyrics: a smash of glass and the rumble of boots/ an electric train and a ripped up phone booth/paint splattered walls and the cry of a tom cat/lights going out and a kick in the balls...that's entertainment...
But also: waking up from bad dreams and smoking cigarettes/cuddling a warm girl and smelling stale perfume/a hot summers day and sticky black tarmac/feeding ducks in the park and wishing you were far away...that's entertainment...
22. "She Wolf" (Shakira)
"She Wolf" has everything I love about Shakira songs: heavy breathing, ridiculous lyrics ("I'm starting to feel just a little abused like a coffee machine in an office"), and sex noises. When "She Wolf" shows up in my iPod rotation, look out everyone, because I'm popping a boner. I can't help it. Shakira's voice is laced with Viagra. Her music is saturated with Colombian pheromones that possess the ability to infect the brain through the aural cavities and render one hopelessly enamored within milliseconds.
And have you seen her ass? My God, it's one of the most beautiful things in the whole of Creation. Her ass should be declared a national landmark. Tourists from all over the world could visit the ass, snap pictures with the ass, dine in a fancy restaurant overlooking the ass.
A lot of people falsely claim that they would drink the bath water of a particularly appealing young lady, but in Shakira's case, I would actually fucking do it!
"She Wolf" also has the distinction of being a music video I would totally have sex with. Seriously. No matter your sexual proclivity, watch this video. NOW.
Other MVILF*: "Dirrty" (Christina Aguilera); "Criminal" (Fiona Apple) "I'm A Slave 4 U" (Britney Spears); "When I Hated Him (Don't Tell Me)" (Bijou Phillips)
23. "Satan Gave Me A Taco" (Beck)
24. "There Is A Light That Never Goes Out" (The Smiths)
Being that it is the day after Valentine's Day, I thought I'd make mention of one of my favorite love songs at this point. Yes, you read that correctly: "There Is A Light That Never Goes Out" is one of my favorite love songs of all time. Why? Because I can think of nothing more beautiful than informing that special someone in your life that it would be both a pleasure and privilege do die alongside of them in a horrendous automobile accident. Isn't that what we're all ultimately looking for? Someone to suffer and die painfully with us in the twisted, burning hunk of metal that used to be our car? It's beautiful in a way that only The Smiths can be beautiful. C'mon! Nobody wants to die alone, right?
