Twitter: it's stupid, but everything's stupid. When I created a Twitter account for Giant Electric Penguin, my wife told me that according to a report on NPR, the majority of new Twitter users only hang around for a month before growing bored with the service and abandoning it completely. "What do a bunch of NPR nerds know about popular internet trends?" I scoffed.I'm here to tell you that my wife was half right. Yes, after one month of letting my "followers," of which I may have had 15 or so at that point, know what I was up to every second of the day, I got pretty damn bored. But then something amazing happened, something I call the Twitter Renaissance. Suddenly I was "tweeting" with a joy I hadn't know since I first discovered the delicate art of genital self-manipulation. "Tweeting" became my anti-drug and the monkey on the back at the same time and I was one satisfied junkie.
Eventually you hit a wall with Twitter. "What more can I tweet?" you ask yourself shortly after alerting people that you have just mowed your lawn and eaten a popsicle (I actually "twittered" that. I'm sorry.). The only thing left is to create a Twitter phenomenon and get it in the list of Trending Topics on the right side of the screen. So, that's just what I've done. Check the Twitter feed on this very site and you'll see my first attempt at starting a trend, the "#fakequiz." You know those quizzes your Facebook friends take? People on Twitter do that too. They'll take a quiz and post the following message: "I just took that [NAME OF QUIZ HERE] and got [STUPID RESULT HERE]" and then a link to the quiz so other idiots can take it too. So, I thought I'd make up some dumb fake quiz names and maybe make the illustrious Trending Topics list.
I'm asking you, GEP Army, to get on Twitter and start making up some fake quiz names. Let's make my dream of being a "trending tweeter" a reality. Together we can knock Michael Jackson off the list once and for all.
