It was revealed this week that a loophole in Rhode Island law makes it completely legal for 16 and 17-year-old girls to work as strippers anywhere in the state. Some individuals might see this news as a cause for much rejoicing, but not me. I think it's sick. Only a degenerate would want to watch girls under the age of 18 writhe around half-naked on a strip club stage. Sick.Representative Joanne Giannini, a woman with some common sense and decency, is speaking out against this horrifying new trend in after school employment. She is currently drafting a bill that will outlaw underage stripping in Rhode Island and I for one am glad. Just the thought of a 16 or 17-year-old girl gyrating and undulating in a dimly-lit club while a 50 Cent song blares on the sound system makes me want to vomit. Gross. Ick.
Underage stripping isn't the only thing in Giannini's sights (thank God!), so is teenage prostitution, which is also 100% legal under current law. That's right, perverts. You can legally pay money to have a teenage girl give you a hand-job in some rent by the hour motel and not be thrown in jail for it. A young woman who just aced her calculus exam mere hours earlier could right now be headed over to your house for some perfectly legal oral penis manipulation. You could be negotiating prices for twisted acts of sexual intercourse with a 17-year-old cheerleader who works as a hooker to raise money for college right this very second if you lived in the state of Rhode Island. I am going to be physically sick right now. Make it stop.
You should be ashamed, Rhode Island. God bless you and your campaign to put a stop to the fun of thousands of pervy old Rhode Island sickos, Rep Giannini. In fact, I have half a mind to fly up there this weekend and check out this debauchery for myself, you know, and lend a helping hand. To you. My hand will be for you, Ms. Giannini. For the helping. Not for the slapping of hot teenage ass. Sorry.
