Title: The OneBadass: Jet Li
What the hell?: Yu-Law (Jet Li), a parallel universe-hopping serial killer, quantum leaps into modern day Los Angeles for the expressed purpose of assassinating mild-mannered policeman Gabriel Law (also Jet Li) and becoming "the one." Each time Yu-Law successfully murders one of his parallel selves, the remaining selves gain ridiculous, superhuman abilities. In the end, it's Jet Li versus Jet Li in a CGI kung-fu battle you'll grow bored of after about ten seconds.
What's to like: Yu-Law sucker punches an LA police officer with his own motorcycle; in one parallel universe, Carla Gugino looks, walks, and presents her breasts in a manner I'd describe as "Jessica Rabbit-esque"; last post's badass, Jason Statham, shows up in a growly supporting role.What's to not like: feels familiar, hackneyed and dull; Jet Li is a handsome enough guy, but he lacks charisma; what was up with the spark manufacturing plant in the final fight?; criminals are sent to the Stygian Penal Colony in the Hades Universe? Really?
The truth: The One is nothing more than an uninspired mash-up of The Matrix, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, and the Mortal Kombat video game series. There's nothing in this film that you haven't seen before and much, much better in a bunch of other science fiction actioners. I'm not ready to give up on him just yet even though I've thoroughly not enjoyed either Jet Li film I've seen to date (Hero and this wasteful dreck). He seems like a nice enough fellow, I guess.
Awwwww, that's too bad--but wait...there's more! Two more epic films! Two more colossal badasses! Who will reign supreme in this battle of badassery! Stay tuned!
