Just shoot me.
Just like anyone else who's ever read a comic book, I'm looking forward to the Watchmen movie, but I have some reservations. Those reservations have a name. It's Zach Snyder. I liked Snyder's take on Dawn of the Dead. It was blood-soaked and sadistic and an all-around good time, but it wasn't exactly inspired, and it has nothing on the original. 300 is entertaining, but it's also bloated, melodramatic, completely devoid of humor, and it spawned thousands of shitty parodies that you can't just dismiss as shitty because they're absolutely spot on true and make you laugh in spite of yourself. For that, I will never forgive 300.
Adding to my unease is the Watchmen soundtrack album I stumbled across last night on iTunes. You can see the track list for yourself or you can just trust me that there's a bunch of period stuff and mood music on it that's non-offensive, predictable, and boring. You got your "Sound of Silence," "I'm Your Boogie Man," and "The Times They Are A-Changing," all by the original artists! And that's fine, but this is Watchmen, a thoroughly engrossing, thrilling story that's filled with fine details and surprises. It practically dares you to come to it with preconceptions or expectations just so it can shoot them down, spit in your face, and laugh at you when you thank it for it's trouble. And Zach Snyder is sitting there thinking about what songs to put on this thing and he says, "this movie's about unrest in the '60s and '70s. We'll need Dylan, Simon and Garfunkle--oh, and we'll totally need some KC and the Sunshine Band!"
KC and the Sunshine Band? You can't be serious.
But out of a sea of predictability, two tracks stick out like oil platforms in the Florida Keys (I hate myself). The first is My Chemical Romance's version of "Desolation Row." I actually hate their version--they give it an almost halfway authentic sounding early punk vibe--but it has no reason to exist except to add a bit of crossover appeal to the soundtrack and the film. A bunch of movies do this, sure, and I know I'm being a dick on par with Mr. Moore himself (and he can be a dick all he wants as far as I'm concerned) when I say this, but I just don't want to see this kind of shit in Watchmen. Please use this song in an interesting, innovative way and prove me wrong, Mr. Snyder.
My Chemical Bromance...with Zach Snyder -or- Desolation Hoe
The second song I want to complain about here is Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah." Please don't get me wrong. I love Cohen's "Hallelujah." It's one of the greatest songs ever written, but it seems like it's been co-opted by lazy directors (or whoever happens to be in charge) as a cheap way to add some cheap gravity to a cheap scene. I admit to being moved a bit by its use in Shrek, but I credit that more to the song than the movie, and it's since been used ad nauseum in television dramas, including House, The West Wing, Third Watch, The O.C., and even fucking Scrubs. According to LadyBears in this DisBoards thread it was even used at the end of an episode of Dateline to commemorate the Virginia Tech Massacre. Fuck me.
You know what? Stop it. Stop remaking perfectly good songs as pop punk songs for no good reason (even if they aren't completely terrible). Stop ruining irrefutable classics of western music by shoving them down our throats every time we're supposed to feel sad, or excited (in the case of "Ride of the Valkyries," also include in the Watchmen soundtrack), and while you're at it, quit using KC & The Sunshine Band period.
